Adopted

I have a new family.

 

Following last week's business dinner and all the drinking and toasting and drinking and drinking and feeling very ropey the following day, my Big Brother has adopted me into his family.

 

This week, he organised a dinner to mark my adoption at his little restaurant in the middle of Shanghai. I am always overwhelmed at the generosity of the people I meet in China and the warmth of Big Brother's welcome was enough to make me need a little cry on the way home.

 

My Big Brother is in his 40s, he runs several small restaurants. He is married to my Big Sister, a very beautiful woman who looks nothing like her 40 years. She asked me not to call her Big Sister-in-Law as she doesn't like the word - neither do I so Big Sister suits us both very well. They have a 15 year old son so I have my Little Nephew. Then comes the tricky part - because Big Brother has two nephews, they become my nephews (Big Nephew and 2nd Nephew respectively) despite being older than me. Usually I would call them Big Brother too but because I already have Big Brother, they would have to be 2nd Brother and 3rd Brother.! Are you keeping up with me? These words to describe relationships are wonderful once you get the hang of them, just from the introduction you know how someone fits with someone else and precisely what they relationship is. there's no need for the questions so common in English about whether someone is from your mother's side or your father's side. It's all very clear. That is until you learn that Brother, Sister, Grandma and Cousin can be used to describe someone's boyfriend or girlfriend!  I once had a very confusing conversation with a girl who told me about a time that her brother visited her in the night so she couldn't play in an important basketball match the next day. Her Brother was her period!

 

 During dinner everyone was very kind and polite in a Chinese way, my bowl was filled with all the good stuff, everyone toasted with me at least 3 times and thanks to reading a lot of Amy Tan books while I did my A-levels, I knew that all the complaints about the food were not real. It was hard to keep up though I felt I fared better at returning toasts this time. It was a fun evening and as Big Brother got happier and happier (thanks to several bottles of baijiu and rather a lot of yellow wine) he found a new way to entertain himself. He says "Little Sister" and I reply "Big Brother" and he looks at me in the proud and sweet way that parents look at their kids when they say something funny and cute.

 

Towards the end of the meal, Big Brother asks if I will go downstairs to help him with something. He takes out his phone and starts to make a call, he wants to call our "Mother" so that she can say hello to her new "Daughter". I was rather worried - she's an older lady, it's 10pm at night (rather late in a country where dinner is eaten between 5:30 and 7pm) and as fond of me as Big Brother has become in the last week, I wasn't sure how fond of me his Mother would be! Luckily the booze made his fingers slower so Big Sister managed to come and sort it out before we woke the old lady up!

 

Big Brother calls every day to check that I have eaten and to remind me to get plenty of sleep. I'm going over there next week to make dumplings, I'll take my camera and provide pictures as soon as I can.